Damnation
by Zilent1
Summary: Herein heart lies damnation, but in which mind doth it scream? Harry thinks all is damned...


**Title:** Damnation  
**Author:** Zilent1  
**Warnings:** Angsty Harry. May be OOC. Slight coarse language and religious references. Set after OoTP.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not and will not own anything from Harry Potter.  
  


~ + ~  
  
_**Damn \Damn\, v. i.**  
To invoke damnation; to curse. ``While I inwardly damn.''  
--Goldsmith.  
  
**Damnation**  
n 1: the act of damning  
2: the state of being condemned to eternal punishment in Hell_  
  
~ + ~

  
  
Damn me. Life always has to have the downsides, which mine seems to be full of. Everybody hates the cursed downsides to life. But then, it's always something we can damn to the very bowels of Hell. Personally, I see it as a fruitless damnation. Seeing as we are already in Hell, why damn something where you already are? Say anything you want to prove me wrong about us being already in Hell, but we are.  
  
_/Where is the Devil then? Where is Satan, Lucifer...?/_  
  
We are. Nobody is entirely innocent in this world and, though we will never be God, we will always have to battle the inner demons, the consciences of 'Good' and 'Evil'. Thus proving we all have the Devil inside us. Pray for your sins, for when you die you hope to Hell you get the change to ascend, unlike the rest of us sinners who will descend the levels of the Hell we live in. But I would rather descend that ascend; face what my fate has damned me to instead of begging for a better afterlife.  
  
Let me walk on this land how I want, without knowing what I am doing is right or wrong. I do not and will not care. Damn this earth to Hell and let everyone know it.   
  
_/Harry potter doesn't give a damn anymore!/_  
  
I have lost everything that has mattered to me, everything that would have made this Hell a whole lot better. But now that chance is gone, like my un-damnation ways, gone with my naiveté and ignorance of the real world - Hell. The world hidden from me since birth but now it has all changed for I have come face to face with the Almighty Devil himself - _far too many times_. And because of this damned life I lead, I bare his very essence within me, the very essence that never surfaced until now. So, in damning myself I damn **Him** as well. And while I'm damning, I damn That Woman who _oh so conveniently_ prophesied my life. I damn Dumbledore too. Damn their meddling.  
  
_/Speak sharp. You damn me?/_  
  
Within cruelties lie the bane of this damnation, but I do not know it as one may think. Isolated in this cruel world, my name and past known in everybody's mind. I am like a Muggle show that has watched my life. So I damn them too.  
  
_/You damn yourself too./_  
  
But these words, do they speak the truth? As in from my own mind? I only speak what is thought through either mine or **His** mind. And now that we both know of this mental link, there is no absolute way of telling whose thought is whose. I see what I see in what **He** sees that I see. Damn me, damnit! It is a twisted, damned world, this Hell is!  
  
_/Damn to curse me? Curse me to the Abyss of Hell? You cannot curse yourself./_  
  
To think my life was nothing but a forked prophecy proves this is Hell. One makes their fate come true by accepting the destiny paths that are set out for them. They should not have to live up to certain expectations or be singled out because the _third eye wandering the psychic plane_.  
  
But those who's eyes wander must have a tiny bit of God within them, enabling them to see past what we mortals cannot see. For they can be the ones who may know what our fate has in store. But the string that ends when it does, there is no need for redemption if your life path is paved for you. You walk that path the way you want for it is already set out before you.  
  
_/Damn you contradictory/_  
  
But damn it all. Damnation rules this Hell, where redemption is its equal. Damn this world, damn this life, damn me!  
  
**_Damn._**  
  
/_I hate that word._/  
  
  
**End.**  
  
  
**A/N:** R+R, C&C, flames accepted. I'm part-agnostic, part-atheist, part-pagan (I suppose), so nothing entirely religious in the reviews, thanks. Harry Potter was chosen so because I felt that he fit the mood... 


End file.
